Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Resolving interpersonal conflict


Conflicts happen often, especially when each parties wants the best for the situation but in their own ways.

The biggest conflict I ever had was with one of my groupmates over our final year project. As it was our final year project and we had to compete with another group, we were very tensed up and stressed about it. Despite having to commit to our attachments, we put in a lot of efforts and was very determined to do well for the project. As a result, we sacrificed our sleeping time and burnt our weekends while being tired and time-strapped.

The conflict happened on a Sunday night where we have to get up early in the morning for the next day of work. We were discussing about a certain part of the project over the phone late at night. It was a part where we felt that does not link well with the rest of the report and had made amendments several times. After several rounds of discussion, I recommended a way to my groupmate who does not agree with it. She insisted that the way is not feasible and firmly rejected my idea. I did not agree with her but compromised as I was tired and wanted to end the argument.  She then told me her idea which sounded to me exactly same as what I recommended.

Feeling tired and grieved, I told her that it was exactly what I said while trying to hold my anger. She sensed the displease from my tone and felt wronged too. From her perspective, I was not clear in my explanation which made her interpreted my idea in a different way. We then started making sarcastic remarks over the phone and it resulted in a serious conflict as we made sensitive comments about each other.

The situation could have be better handled or even avoided if we are more understanding towards each other and be careful in the way we communicated. However, given the situation, how many people will be able to be understanding towards the another party, especially in the absence of non-verbal communication?

6 comments:

  1. Hi Annis, I'm Mark, one of Brad's worst former students. I came across your blog, and I hope you don't mind that I really like it! Hehe!

    I came across a few grammatical errors that I'd hoped you'd take up on.

    Take a look at these:


    Conflicts happen often, especially when each parties wants the best for the situation but in their own ways.>>>>Conflicts happen often, especially when each party wants for themselves the best of the situation. ( there is a logic and prepositional error in your original sentence).


    As a result, we sacrificed our sleeping time and burnt our weekends while being tired and time-strapped.>>>As a result, we sacrificed sleep time and burnt our weekends to become tired and time-starved. ( Make sure that you consistently use the same category of words in your sentence, for instance, if you use gerunds in one part of your sentence, be consistent and use it all throughout, if you use infinitives, stick with infinitives. There is also sentence fragment error when you use the wrong prepositions. There is also no such word as time-strapped.)


    There are a few other technical errors that I hope I'd got you started into looking into in the rest of your text.


    Cheers and all the best Annis !:))))

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  2. Hi Mark, I really appreciate your constructive comments! They are of great help to me!I know my weaknesses and I am glad that someone pointed them out!

    I will be posting on different topics weekly and I hope to see your comments again! Also, I think it is good to keep track of the blog posts despite being a former student. I hope I will be able to do so in the future too!

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  3. There were various factors that contributed to the conflict between the members.

    In my opinion, I felt that stress might be one of the factors for miscommunication between the group members. When one feels stressful, he/she tends to misread and misunderstand the message that the other party is trying to convey. Perhaps the team members could have ended the conversation by arranging for a short meet up (given the tight schedule for work and personal commitments) to clarify the discussion of ideas and disagreements.

    In addition, what may have contributed to the conflict was due to the lack of active listening and understanding. In order to show that one understands what had been communicated, it would be a good practice to paraphrase and acknowledge the message that was brought across. In this way, both parties would be able to clarify any doubts that both of them might have, in the ideas that were suggested.

    Also, it would be good to remain calm when conflict arises. Perhaps it would have been better to take some time off for both parties to reflect on what caused the conflict and ways to better resolve the matter and avoiding negative criticism.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks, Annis, for your post.

    Like Kee Yee mentions, perhaps the stress of the situation was a factor, and maybe it was increased by the context (late night work, both of you tired). It's interesting that in retrospect you feel that your actual suggestion was in fact very similar to your teammate's. So you were fighting about style rather than substance.

    One thing I don't understand is that you stated that you were face to face when you fought, but in the last paragraph you mention that nonverbals were not a factor. Huh?

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  5. Hi Annis, I guess the situation you pointed out is very common in projects.

    I guess the conflict arose not only because of stress and the fact that everyone was tired, but also because some discussions were not made face to face but over the phone. It can be difficult to sense any displeasure simply through the other party's tone of voice and communication breakdown can easily take place.

    However, I guess this incident has served as a reminder for you to never let stress/lack of sleep lead to a conflict.

    :)

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  6. Hi Annis!

    I have compiled a list of grammar errors, as listed below:

    Para 1:
    each party

    Para 2:
    alot of *effort*

    Para 3:
    early *the next* morning for work
    a part which we felt did not link well with the rest of the report
    and *which we had ammended* several times.
    *did* not agree
    *was* not feasible
    exactly *the* same

    Para 4:
    *displeasure* (displease)
    *made her interpret* (made her interpreted)


    Last para:
    situation could have *been*
    *were* more understanding
    *more* careful
    *would* (how many people will be...)

    ReplyDelete